Drowning in Negativity

  Greetings!  It's been awhile since my last post, mostly because I've been planning this one in my head for awhile.  For those of you who know me, you know I am not the most positive person on the planet.  Granted, I am making an effort to be better about that, but it's a work in progress.  I have noticed such an increase in the negativity surrounding me lately though, and for me to think it's too much is saying something about the magnitude of it. 

   All these personal wars on facebook, pinterest, and any other social media you may use.  People are upset that they are unable to or do not have children while their "friends" post (obviously intending to be hurtful to YOU) pictures of their pregnant bellies and children.  Then we're gonna fight about HOW to have those babies: "5 things NOT to say to a C-section Mom"  most of which include a woman's disappointment at not being able to complete life's most "natural" process.  Of which her body, was "designed for"  and how she should be grateful for her healthy baby.  Why are these insulting things?  Childbirth is NOT that natural....or SAFE!  Before C-sections it had roughly a 60% survival rate!  So, why the hell SHOULDN'T you be grateful?? You chose motherhood, you knew it was a possibility, I understand it's a disappointment of sorts, but what's wrong with reminding you that being grateful is not only OK, but a GOOD way to handle it??  Women are attacking each other over parenting.  Stay at home moms want to cut down the working moms, working moms want to bash stay at home moms.....WHY???  We're all living our lives, doing the best that we can, and our lives reflect our choices.  If you CHOOSE to stay at home with your children, good for you.  Some women don't want to do it that way, others wish they could but it's not a financial possibility.  If you CHOOSE to work, even if it's because of necessity, why are you cutting down those who opt to stay home?  What does that have to do with you and YOUR children?? 

   It goes beyond women and babies though, it extends into politics, religion, education.  All I hear anymore is "Look how much harder/worse my life is than yours!  Why don't you just acknowledge that I must be better/stronger than you are because I'm in a constant struggle and you obviously aren't"  NONSENSE!  Life is hard.  It's hard for everyone, yours is just a different kind of hard.  What's so wrong with accepting our choices, and our lives and doing what we can to improve OUR OWN situations instead of putting down those of everyone else simply to try to justify our own suffering?

   What's wrong with a little empathy, or sending a little positive energy out into the universe for our fellow man?  What's wrong with supporting others through struggles and dark times instead of trying to prove how our own struggles and dark times are SO much harder and worse?  How did THAT become a competition we all HAD to jump into?? 

  I get sucked into it too.....sometimes I just want to log onto facebook and poor out all the angry, dramatic thoughts that flit through my head.  But, it's not healthy, or constructive.  Instead, IGNORE the posts that hurt, know that "friend" of yours is hurting and coping with it ineffectively.  Instead, send an encouraging message, or write down several things that YOU are grateful for within YOUR life....even when it's hard, there's always SOMETHING to be thankful, or just pray.  For yourself, for someone else, just for someone to talk to.....but let's stop the constant bashing.  We're not here to bring each other down!

Pure Cardio Recap

  Every time the calendar says it's "Pure Cardio" day, I want to roll over and play dead.  Just like in grade school when I used to fake stomach aches so I could skip school and watch The Price is Right with my Grandfather.....except, then I have to deal with my judgemental, mean brain telling me what a lazy, worthless human being I am for skipping a day without a valid reason.  It then goes on to make sure I remember just how disappointed with myself I'll be later when someone at work brings in cake pops or pizza and not only do I partake of such forbidden goodies (because I'm lacking a bit in the self control department) but I over indulge in goodie land after SKIPPING my workout....SINFUL!!!  Ultimately, the mean side of my brain wins out over the lazy side and I put the disc in.

  Shaun T comes on the screen and says "Are you ready?  You feelin' good?"  Which is pretty much code for:

    But, I AM ready, and I AM feelin' good so I respond enthusiastically:

 

 

    I get through the warm up (WITHOUT taking any breaks mind you....and don't laugh, those warm ups are no joke!!) and I'm still ready for this workout. 

Then, Shaun T HIMSELF says "I gotta tell you, I'm really nervous about this workout." 

    "WHAAAAAT??  WHY would you say that to me Shaun???"  Now my heart is pounding, I'm nauseated (more so than what I'd already been experiencing from the worlds hardest warm up), and reconsidering my watching The Price is Right plan. 

At this point in Pure Cardio, there's about 20 minutes left on the clock, 15 of those minutes is HARD work.  15 moves, 1 minute each, no stopping, no breaks.  I managed to get through the first 5 moves before NEEDING to stop for water.  It's around then that Shaun says "about now you're probably getting tired, it's OK to take a break if you need one."

    "Oh yeah???  Ya THINK???"  The workout drags on 1 eternally lasting minute at a time until there's about 3 minutes left on the clock and Shaun says "the next move is.....uh.....'pant, pant'.....I'm so tired I can't even remember the name of my moves!"  And, you know if HE'S that tired, that I'M halfway into my GRAVE!!! 

 

   FINALLY the last move is done, I collapse onto the floor in a puddle of my own sweat, eyes stinging, ears ringing, not sure I'll ever get up again and I look up at the TV and the whole cast, including Shaun T are in exactly the same position as I am....somehow, that makes me feel a little better.  

 

   I'm never so happy to do a cool down as I am after this video.  And I'm never so proud of myself for completing a workout.  And, now I'm DONE!  Until the next time.....but we aren't gonna think about that for now!!  Keep pushing play!  Keep digging deep!



How About a Break for a Really BAD DAY???

  In my efforts of "aspiring to be inspiring" I find that some days I straight up have no inspirational material.  Today for example, WORST. DAY. EVER.  OK, so that may be a little over exaggerated....I'm sure you've had worse days than the one I've just had, I'm fairly sure I have too; but, it's been a rough one.  I work nights, and sleep was something I chased all day instead of actually getting some.  It was cold (I mean REALLY COLD) and the dog decided that she wanted to play for an EXTRA long time when all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and warm up.  It took me an abnormally long time to talk myself into my workout today because I was so over tired and grumpy, and then I opted for T25 Speed 2.0 because there was no longer time for a complete INSANITY workout.  That, however, ended up being a decent decision....it was a tough workout, but it was short, I ended it feeling sore, but energized, and like the day had taken a turn for the better (despite the fact that I only had 15 minutes at that point to shower, change, feed the dog, eat dinner and get on my way to work). 

   Twenty minutes later, I was out the door (not too bad!) with my shakeology dinner in hand.  It was also, however, in an open container because I'd run out of lids....I figured it would not be a big deal.  I pulled up to the first major intersection of my commute behind someone sitting at the red light.  He decided to turn on red, and I took my foot off the brake, looked down to grab my shake so it would make it around the corner while I touched the gas, and when I looked up, the car in front of me had re-stopped....I didn't even have time to correct my mistake, I rear ended him.  Not terribly hard, but my shake flew out of its container, ALL OVER the inside of the windshield, then splashed back into my face, down the front of my scrubs, into my lap (and consequently, INTO my pants!).  I was MORTIFIED and actively berating myself when I realized that he wasn't getting out of his car.  I put mine in park and got out, as I'm walking up to his window, my shakeology dinner was running down my leg and into my shoe where it squished every time I took a step.  The other man finally jumped out "it's OK!  I'm OK!  You're OK!  There's no damage, LOOK!!" (as he points to a scratch and a small dent in his bumper) "don't worry about it!" then he jumped back into his car and sped away, leaving me crying and covered in chocolate in the middle of a busy intersection....not even sure IF there was damage to my car because it was dark and I was tearful.  I got in the car, called work to let them know I was alright, but going to be late and why.  Then I had to drive home with my head hanging out the drivers side window because I couldn't see out the windshield and I didn't have any towels or napkins or anything to wipe the shake up with. 

 

   I get home, all squishy and sticky and still balling with frustration, I changed, cleaned the car up the best I could and drove to work.  When I arrived, my co-workers were waiting anxiously for me (from BOTH the on-coming and off-going shifts!) just to make sure I was ok.  Have I ever mentioned what an AMAZING group of women I work with???  I was still upset-ish, and my head was THROBBING from the stress of the evening, and as I'm telling my story, they all start laughing.....I mean, ROLLING on the floor, holding their bellies LAUGHING!  They told me they were sorry that I had a crummy night but that I tell the best stories and that I made their nights with this one.  And I realized something, I don't have to always be positive or uplifting, or even happy to be inspiring....some days I can to be covered in chocolate, with a funny (albeit embarassing) story, and surrounded by friends.  We all had a good laugh, and started the shift in better moods (myself included!). 

 

 

 

I actually MEAL PREPPED for the week!!!

   As some of you probably know, "clean eating" is my Achilles heel.  I love healthy food and eating right, but the preparation and forethought that has to go into it....well....lets just call me lazy.  That and I work two jobs (which translates to roughly 5-7 12 hour night shifts a week, so making time for a workout in my busy sleeping schedule is a big deal....making time for meal prepping makes me a little anxious).

  ANYWAY, last night I decided to take a few baby steps toward being a "meal prepper"  I hard boiled a dozen eggs (quick snack, add to a salad....).  I browned 2 lbs of lean, ground turkey meat (add to omelet, or salad, quick easy protein source ready to go!).  I chopped veggies and separated them into Ziploc containers, I also found a FABULOUS recipe on Pinterest for quinoa egg bites....they were so easy, and FAST, and they're really good warm OR cold!!!

2cups cooked quinoa (I used roasted garlic flavored quinoa), 2 beaten eggs, mix together with 1/2 cup of veggies of your choice (spinach, tomato, zucchini, peppers, etc....), and 1/2 cup cheese (I used feta, but use what you like!) grease a mini muffin pan, put mixture into pan and bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes!


 I feel like I've hit the jackpot!!!  Also, just to be completely honest, I bought several premade salads, and several Kashi Mayan Bake frozen dinners (it's STILL clean eating even if I can't COMPLETELY get rid of the "lazies"!)

   This past week has been rough.  I've been battling the flu, as well as feeling really down emotionally.  I'm not gonna lie, I missed 3 workouts, and the days I DID workout, I felt sad, rundown, not into it.  And, they were half assed workouts.  But, I did them.  Today was a benchmark workout for INSANITY, and despite my illness, and lousy mood there is improvement on the scale, and there is improvement in the numbers. 

   This week, do the best you can, and next week you WILL find that it's better than what you could last week.  Look at those numbers!!  I'm doing things today that I was not physically capable of two weeks ago!  You're next!  Keep making the time, keep digging deeper in your workouts, keep making good choices and watch your body AND your mind get better and stronger everyday!

Ringing in the New Year.....SORE!!!

   Happy 2014 folks!!  As of January 1st, I recommitted myself to the INSANITY program......I think that in itself requires a little mental instability, and that's not even considering the workouts themselves!!  OUCH.  I did 3 months of T25, and it is a quick, (almost) fun workout; but, I felt myself plateau, and decided it was time to increase the intensity and difficulty of my workouts.   As I think I mentioned in an earlier post, I am already an INSANITY survivor.  So, I pretty much knew what I was in for (OK, OK, I MIGHT have forgotten EXACTLY how hard it is!!) Day 1: The Fit Test, I had the fit test, and was mentally prepared to jump right into these workouts so I TOTALLY did the happy dance in my head thinking I was getting off easy.....WRONG!!!  I had completely forgotten how difficult that fit test is!!  I couldn't breathe within the first five minutes and was throwing up by the time it was over.  The rest of the week has gone much the same and I was very quickly reminded of my mantras that got me through it the first time:

   On a more positive note, T25 was a GREAT base to the INSANITY workouts.  I've been able to work harder and go longer without breaks than I did the first time around.  Also, I'm already down 2 pounds in the first week!  SO, in the words of the GREAT Shaun T: I will continue to "Dig Deeper" even if it goes something like this (substitute "running" for "doing INSANITY")