Back To School

   I've always said "I'll have a Master's Degree".  I spent many years not knowing what I wanted it in, or thinking I wanted it in a certain specialty and then realizing that it's not for me, or starting a program and then having to withdraw for whatever pressing issue that was keeping me from my education.

   My original plan was to become a Certified Nurse Midwife.  I love pregnancy, I love the labor and delivery process, and I LOVE my job as a labor and delivery nurse.  The only thing that could make it better is if I were allowed to actually perform those deliveries (with the exception of 31 fast moving fetuses who were disinterested in waiting for a doctor!). So, of course becoming a Nurse Midwife was the answer.  I realized, however, that my affinity for the night time hours would be in for a rude awakening in that position.  I had not considered, during all my daydreams about catching babies all night, that I would also be working AT LEAST 9-5 in an office, performing THOUSANDS of pap smears, and dealing with sexual education and contraception the majority of the time.  This revelation significantly dropped my enthusiasm level regarding the pathway to Midwifery. 

  A few years later, inspiration struck again; Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist!  What an incredible thought, and why the heck hadn't I thought it sooner?  I LOVE scrubbing and first assisting in the Operating Room, I'm completely fascinated with epidural placement, not to mention....THE MONEY!!!  They start out at $126,000 a year!!  I made plans to be able to survive without a full time job for two years, I was accepted into one of the top three most competitive programs in the United States, and then I shadowed a CRNA for a day.  It was DEVASTATING!!  The day was spent mostly in scheduled OR cases, and pre-operative interviews.  My patients were all SLEEPING!  (NOT, that that's always a bad thing, mind you!) But hours and hours just sitting, watching monitors!  It was awful.....then, when things finally took a turn toward the adrenaline producing excitement that I had originally thought soaked this profession, it was an ICU patient that NO ONE else could get intubated!  The MD had failed, respiratory had failed, so they call the BIG GUNS.....me?  Hmmmm.....that might be more adrenaline than I'd bargained for.  Can't I just run around giving laboring women their epidurals?  I wish to be a "Labor Epidural-ologist".  Much to my dismay, this is not actually a thing.  Back I went to the Masters Degree drawing board.

   About a year ago, I felt the call toward teaching.  I thought I would really enjoy sharing my 13 years of experience and knowledge with new nurses (especially those with a passion for labor and delivery).  I spent some time in mediation and prayer about it, and continued to feel a resounding "YES" within my soul.  In April I began my journey towards a Master's Degree in Nursing Education thinking I'd teach at the BSN level.  In the 3 classes I've finished already, I've discovered that my inclination towards that may also have been wrong.  Happily, I have discovered a position called "Clinical Nurse Educator".  Here I can maintain my skills within Labor and Delivery WHILE teaching other staff members about it!  New hires, new policies and procedures to existing staff members etc...the hours appear to be better, the pay is better and the thought of it is making me so incredibly excited about life and my chosen career path!  It's funny how we envision our lives going one way, and then as they unfold before us, paths we'd never even considered reveal themselves to us if we pay attention and look for them! 

    I used to joke that I was "bad" at listening for God's input in my life.  I'm stubborn, and generally want what I want, WHEN I want it (I'm sure many of you can relate!).  This awareness of myself spurred me to begin praying for God to "beat me over the head with a nail-studded 2x4".  I told Him that His still, small voice probably would never make it to my eardrums as long as I was busy doing my own thing.  It turns out that I was right about that.  It also turns out that God HAS a nail-studded 2x4!  I am so grateful. I am so blessed.

Keep Smiling, and God Bless!

Facebook: Friend or Foe?

  I have a Facebook account.  Me, and about a billion other people.  I've found lately that I don't have much use for it.  Sure, there are those I truly wish to remain in contact with, and who's day to day happenings are important to me.  However, there are also those who use social media to whine, accuse, vent, make inappropriate political/cultural/religious statements, or just spread a general sense of negativity; but hey, that's all part and parcel of the whole "freedom of speech" gig.  I'm perfectly comfortable reading the musings of those I disagree with, whether I find myself amused or disgusted or anywhere in between doesn't matter, we don't all have to agree with each other on things....even important things.  My issue is: why do we have to be UGLY with the people we disagree with?  How is that effective, useful, or an improvement to life?

   I started a journey to rid my life of negativity awhile back.  This is no easy feat for me!  I have been nicknamed "Eeyore" more than once over the course of my almost 35  years!  I tend toward the negative, pessimistic outlook of things and it never did me any favors.  People became less likely to want to get to know me or spend time with me, I always felt like the world was a sad, dreary place and no amount of silver-lining talk could convince me that life could be GOOD, and fulfilling, and HAPPY.  I also believed that to be everyone else's fault, SURPRISE!  It was MY fault!  This journey began with a joy journal (which I have blogged about before) a friend of mine gave me for Christmas in 2009.  I started using it occasionally, but was often too sad or too busy to be bothered with it.  I began making a real effort in 2011, lost steam in 2012, re-committed to it in late 2014 and am still writing in it daily.  Forcing myself to find AT LEAST 3 things that I am happy about or grateful for every day NO MATTER WHAT has worked miracles in my outlook on life.  I've also learned that said outlook has NOTHING to do with anyone or anything else, just me.  My attitude, my reaction to the universe and the happenings within it, and where I choose to place my focus.

  SO, back to the facebook conundrum....I find myself on it less and less.  My newsfeed often ranges from boring at best, to mean, ugly, and hurtful at worst.  That kind of reel is not helping me keep my focus where it belongs.  It drags me out into the mud of the social media world and affects my day negatively.  I've learned it's ok to defriend and block people who are habitual offenders of bringing one's newsfeed down.  I've also learned that, there are people we cannot defriend without causing work/familial issues; however, facebook has installed this awesome little "unfollow" button!  Voila! Ugly newsfeed hidden, and the other user is none the wiser!

   I would like to challenge all of you to post something positive, uplifting, or motivational on your feeds today.  Brighten up Facebook!  I wish I had done this 24 hours ago, because my newsfeed is remarkably positive today....to that I say: High Five Facebook Friends! Keep it up!!  I am impressed and excited to be reading your stories!  Here are a couple of links to some of the awesome stories I've seen today:

http://www.pixable.com/article/jockey-saves-jockey-from-fall-video-54194?utm_content=inf_10_85_2&utm_medium=partner&utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=pixsesocial&ts_pid=2

http://faves.com/story/this-a-cappella-performance-of-amazing-grace-is-absolutely-breathtaking/0Uo5iVfoQ4LZ6BXg.01

Keep Smiling, and God Bless!

5 - 3 - 1

    "5-3-1" That's the secret to being happy.  That's how you take a foul mood and a bad attitude and change it for the better.  I heard it talked about on the radio the other day and it sounded a bit hokey to be honest.  I was wrong.  This isn't even a tool you have to employ more than once to feel a difference!  The next time you're feeling crummy, negative, or like throwing a pity party for whatever you believe is not going right in your life, give it a try. 
   5:  Take five minutes for yourself.  Do some controlled, deep breathing, take a quick mini-vacation in your brain, try a brief guided imagery session.....whatever!  As long as it breaks your over-active thinking (or sulking) pattern.  Abandon everything that is upsetting you or dragging you down and just relax.  Focus on the air in your lungs, the sun in the sky, the music on the radio, or the most beautiful place on earth that you keep stashed away in the back of your head for moments such as these.

   3:  Identify and either verbalize or write down three GOOD things in your life right now.  Three things you are thankful for in this very moment.  There are days when this is more difficult than others, but there are ALWAYS three things to be thankful for.  Is the weather nice?  Do you have gas in your car?  Shoes on your feet?  A steady paycheck?  A dog who's happy to see you?  Anything, so long as it's positive and focused on real gratitude.

   1:   This is the one that caught me off guard, this is the one I questioned.  Do one thing for someone else.  It doesn't have to be something big; compliment someone, hold a door, pay for the coffee of the next guy in line, SMILE at someone.....be creative!  After you've completed your good deed, pray for that person.  Thank God that you have the ability to bring joy to another and ask Him to be with that person through whatever he/she is dealing with today.  You don't have to know details to pray for someone else.  Here's a link to another blog post about praying for strangers that I just love: http://biblelovenotes.blogspot.com/2013/10/Path-Prayer.html

   I have had this improve my mood every time I've tried it.  I started today in a good mood because I went ahead and did these things before I had a chance to feel badly.  I woke up, and took 5 minutes to meditate and pray, then I wrote in my joy journal.....I came up with significantly more than 3 things I'm grateful for, but it's a minimum guideline and I've challenged myself to see how long it takes me to come up with 1,000 things I'm thankful for. On my way into Wawa, for my coffee, I held the door for a little girl and her grandmother, the girl looked up and just beamed!  See? not a big deal!  And, my day became much brighter. 

   There are actual research studies showing that if a person focuses on 3 things he/she is thankful for or happy about 2 hours or less before going to bed it completely changes the brain's patterns.  This little trick isn't as instantaneous as "5-3-1", they say you have to do it consistently for 30 days, but that it has the same effect as an anti-depressant.  Can't hurt to try it right?? I've already made it (mostly) a habit, I am by nature, a fairly negative person and I can attest to the fact that I am much less so now than ever before in my life.  Something as simple as gratitude can truly change everything if  you just let it!

                                                                                                        Keep Smiling, and God Bless!