Back To School

   I've always said "I'll have a Master's Degree".  I spent many years not knowing what I wanted it in, or thinking I wanted it in a certain specialty and then realizing that it's not for me, or starting a program and then having to withdraw for whatever pressing issue that was keeping me from my education.

   My original plan was to become a Certified Nurse Midwife.  I love pregnancy, I love the labor and delivery process, and I LOVE my job as a labor and delivery nurse.  The only thing that could make it better is if I were allowed to actually perform those deliveries (with the exception of 31 fast moving fetuses who were disinterested in waiting for a doctor!). So, of course becoming a Nurse Midwife was the answer.  I realized, however, that my affinity for the night time hours would be in for a rude awakening in that position.  I had not considered, during all my daydreams about catching babies all night, that I would also be working AT LEAST 9-5 in an office, performing THOUSANDS of pap smears, and dealing with sexual education and contraception the majority of the time.  This revelation significantly dropped my enthusiasm level regarding the pathway to Midwifery. 

  A few years later, inspiration struck again; Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist!  What an incredible thought, and why the heck hadn't I thought it sooner?  I LOVE scrubbing and first assisting in the Operating Room, I'm completely fascinated with epidural placement, not to mention....THE MONEY!!!  They start out at $126,000 a year!!  I made plans to be able to survive without a full time job for two years, I was accepted into one of the top three most competitive programs in the United States, and then I shadowed a CRNA for a day.  It was DEVASTATING!!  The day was spent mostly in scheduled OR cases, and pre-operative interviews.  My patients were all SLEEPING!  (NOT, that that's always a bad thing, mind you!) But hours and hours just sitting, watching monitors!  It was awful.....then, when things finally took a turn toward the adrenaline producing excitement that I had originally thought soaked this profession, it was an ICU patient that NO ONE else could get intubated!  The MD had failed, respiratory had failed, so they call the BIG GUNS.....me?  Hmmmm.....that might be more adrenaline than I'd bargained for.  Can't I just run around giving laboring women their epidurals?  I wish to be a "Labor Epidural-ologist".  Much to my dismay, this is not actually a thing.  Back I went to the Masters Degree drawing board.

   About a year ago, I felt the call toward teaching.  I thought I would really enjoy sharing my 13 years of experience and knowledge with new nurses (especially those with a passion for labor and delivery).  I spent some time in mediation and prayer about it, and continued to feel a resounding "YES" within my soul.  In April I began my journey towards a Master's Degree in Nursing Education thinking I'd teach at the BSN level.  In the 3 classes I've finished already, I've discovered that my inclination towards that may also have been wrong.  Happily, I have discovered a position called "Clinical Nurse Educator".  Here I can maintain my skills within Labor and Delivery WHILE teaching other staff members about it!  New hires, new policies and procedures to existing staff members etc...the hours appear to be better, the pay is better and the thought of it is making me so incredibly excited about life and my chosen career path!  It's funny how we envision our lives going one way, and then as they unfold before us, paths we'd never even considered reveal themselves to us if we pay attention and look for them! 

    I used to joke that I was "bad" at listening for God's input in my life.  I'm stubborn, and generally want what I want, WHEN I want it (I'm sure many of you can relate!).  This awareness of myself spurred me to begin praying for God to "beat me over the head with a nail-studded 2x4".  I told Him that His still, small voice probably would never make it to my eardrums as long as I was busy doing my own thing.  It turns out that I was right about that.  It also turns out that God HAS a nail-studded 2x4!  I am so grateful. I am so blessed.

Keep Smiling, and God Bless!